Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Do you agree !!
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
* To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
* Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
* Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
* A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
* There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after.
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
* To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
* Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
* Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
* A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
* There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Babies delivery and Corporate World
1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
And lastly...
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
And lastly...
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
Friday, February 13, 2009
TEN TIPS FOR 2009
1) Do not get into trouble
2.) Aim for greater heights.
3) Stay focused on your job.
4) Exercise to maintain good health
5) Practice Team work,
6) Rely on your trusted partner/friends to watch your back.
7) Be safe on rainy days.
8) Rest, relax & find time to read posts like this.
9) Always smile when your boss is around.
10) Remember nothing is impossible.
Friday, January 30, 2009
A Girl with some stupid habits
You never know when you encounter with a Girl with these habits:
1. She called me to get my phone number.
2. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate.'
3. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
4. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. She tried to drown a fish.
7. She thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
9. She tripped over a cordless phone.
10. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
11. She asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. She studied for a blood test.
13. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
15. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left' she
turned around and went home
1. She called me to get my phone number.
2. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate.'
3. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
4. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. She tried to drown a fish.
7. She thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
9. She tripped over a cordless phone.
10. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
11. She asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. She studied for a blood test.
13. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
15. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left' she
turned around and went home
Sunday, January 4, 2009
An Engineer's Doctor
Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said: Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.
Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.
Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only
Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.
Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...
Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.
Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first.
Doctor: OK. Tell me.
Man:I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night. I get up in the morning like a horse. I go to work running like a deer. I work all the day like a donkey. I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday. I wag my tail in front of all my bosses. I play with my children like a monkey if I get time. I am like a rabbit before my wife
Doctor: are you an engineer?
Man: Yes
Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are are an engineer. Come on man, no one can treat you better than me.
Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.
Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only
Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.
Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...
Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.
Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first.
Doctor: OK. Tell me.
Man:I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night. I get up in the morning like a horse. I go to work running like a deer. I work all the day like a donkey. I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday. I wag my tail in front of all my bosses. I play with my children like a monkey if I get time. I am like a rabbit before my wife
Doctor: are you an engineer?
Man: Yes
Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are are an engineer. Come on man, no one can treat you better than me.
Monday, December 29, 2008
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